Liberals For Santorum

Buddies,

Liberals, however much you abhor ’im,

Stand up with me and support Rick Santorum --

Not for the presidency of the nation,

Only the Republican nomination.

-- The Political Polack

Dum Dums

Buddies,

All these are Dum Dums

And all these are suckers.

All these are Dum Dums

And all these are fuckers.

Shake a Spear! It’s a Brand New Year!

Buddies,

Return we now to January 1,

As ev’ry New Year’s Day we’re bound to do,

Supplanting yesteryear and what we’ve done,

Predicting productivity anew.

Unstoppably do we embrace our tasks,

Tangential though to life they oft may be.

Is not the whole of life, a wise man asks,

Nonsensical and puerile poetry?

Suppose that someone told you there are folks

Performing ev’ry year with effervescence

Excessively inane poetic jokes

Notoriously tinged with adolescence.

It’s time to write another limerick.

So find another word that rhymes with ‘dick’.

(HAPPY NEW YEAR!)

Three Wise Men Poemskis

Buddies,

1

A Wise Man who’s second to none,

When going to visit God’s son,

Would note, by the way,

Christmas is His birthday,

And bring along two gifts, not one.

2

The Wise Men had given offense

With rather overt flatulence.

Thank Heaven they were,

With their gold, packing myrrh

And plenty o’ dang’d frankincense!

3

A little before Christmas Day,

The Wise Men decided that they,

To please the new king,

Would bring Him some bling,

As Wal-Mart was right on their way.

Santa Sonnet

Buddies,

Miraculous, the way he now appears

Expectedly in each department store,

Resembling an elf (except the ears),

Recalling ev’ry bit of yuletide lore.

You sit upon his lap and dare to make,

Convinced of confidentiality,

However long the time that it may take,

Ridiculous requests for things for free.

If ever you should manage, by the way,

Succeeding here where no one ever had,

To catch this wondrous man on Christmas Day,

My guess is he’d turn out to be your dad.

At last, his true identity is found!

So why don’t you get gifts the whole year round?

Seeing Double

Buddies,

Mix me up a drink, my dear

It's over by the sink.

Scotch is what I most revere

Served chilled is best, I think.

Have one for yourself as well

Or maybe even two.

Loosen up your blouse a spell

Large tits look good on you.

Ogling both your double Ds

Why, they're almost as nice

As Johnnie Walker's Double B

Yet cost me twice the price.

Miss Holloway's Double Ds and Double B

Joeku

Buddies,

A perverted man

Screwed his daughter at dinner.

She'd asked him for secs.